I think that I'm just believing in God because of the fears in my mind. like not wanting to go to hell or because if I want to have a "good" life, then I have to follow His ways. If it weren't for those fears, i wouldn't be as concerned about trying to keep a close relationship with Him. 

okay i finally got myself to sit down and write a blog.
so i think that i am getting farther from God since i haven't read the bible during the weekdays since last summer and wasnt able to keep up with my qt's after jama. i've noticed that it's getting harder to spend time with God as time goes by and more things come up. i didn't think that i would become so lazy that my room would become a pigsty, literally, and sadly i cant find my bible at home, so hopefully its at church. aahh

well i just believe that my life is like this b/c i haven't included God in my life as much and my life can't go right without him. even though i realize this, i have a hard time taking the action to change my habits. but i think that by my teacher 'forcing' me to do my qt's and to put up blogs is the start to renewing my relationship with God.
so i looked in The Purpose Driven Life book and i liked this verse. sorry its not much though.
"The Lord has hidden himself from his people, but I trust him and place my hope in him."
 -Isaiah 8:17-